Tears, real tears......March 18th, Day 10

I am trying real hard not to let anyone know that at times I can have a potty mouth, usually when I get stressed I don't drop any big words just those little ones. So today they switched her to a less aggressive respirator. She has had her eyes open quite a bit and is couging a lot. She has been doing little things like wanting to rub her eyes or trying to stretch just Reese things. Did you know that your kids stretch a certain way. Watch them and you will notice that most everytime they wake up they will do the same stretch. I love to watch my kids stretch because they really savor that stretch and get all they can out of it. We are pretty much waiting on the machine to tell us that she can breath enough on her own to take her off. She did spike a fever last night so they drew blood and are running some tests on it to see what is going on with that. Her muscles are also really tight. I tried doing some little exercises for her today but could tell she didn't like it. I think once she wakes they will have the physical thereapist work with her. Reese always has had these cute little calves and right now they look so wimpy and small. Now for the tears. Eric hasn't been able to be up here much. He has eleven tests this week but after the crummy day (oh I refrained myself from cussing) yesterday he came up for a little bit. It was nice and when he walked over and talked to Reese she raised her eyebrows and tried to open her eyes. Later when he left he didn't make a big deal about leaving but I was over with Reese and she started to cry. This was the first time she has cried. It isn't a noisy cry because Reese can't make noises with the tube in her. But I saw her body shake and her face turned red and well she was crying and there was even a little tear. Oh man I about lost it. The nurse came in and I said what do you think is wrong and she said it may be because her Dad left. Oh man. The nurse asked if she was a Daddy's girl and I shook my head yes. Once I gathered myself I said to the nurse ,who has been with us many many days and sort of knows us, "how could you not be a daddy's girl with a Dad like that?" Eric is such a wonderful fun nice Dad. He is the sunshine in the home. I think in most homes it is the Mom who brings that sunshine into the home but not at our home. Eric keeps us laughing although there is plenty of pestering but we all just wait for him to come home each day. He said yesterday it was pretty hard to be home because his entourage wasn't there to greet him. Eric makes his girls all of his girls feel like we are quite special. Today there have been more tears. I don't think she is in pain but she will just start to cry and these tiny tears leak out of here eyes. I just can't wait until we can get this tube out and she can have a little normalcy back.